Day 19

Back on the floor today. I’m getting to know more of the residents; I can greet them by name without always consulting the signs on their doors. Among other things, I get to play chess with a gentleman who can’t speak much but who seems very sharp - certainly sharp enough to beat me soundly, although I like to think I put up a fight.

It’s tempting to let my guard down at these times, and get lost in the sense of normalcy before something snaps me back to this bizarre reality. A woman asks “Huh? What was that??” and I remember that my mouth is covered by a mask, my voice muffled by my face shield - a communication disaster! Walking down the hallway, a resident calls out, “excuse me, can you help me with this tray?” I’m about to go in when I notice the green sticker on the door - I just came from a red patient’s room. I have to go find someone from the Green team to meet this simple request, while the woman sighs impatiently.

One of the residents has a particular bit of wisdom to share with anyone who will listen. “Sometimes in your life, something will happen to you over here.” He draws a mark on the crossword puzzle in front of him. “And it’s horrible, and you cry, and you grieve. But later on, alllll the way over here” - drawing a line down to the bottom corner - “something else will happen, and then you realize why the first thing was important. And it makes sense in the end, but it takes a long time.”

He tells me this 3, 4 times each time we have a conversation. It must be especially important to him, or maybe he feels I especially need to hear it. Maybe both.

Day 20

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